4, the couple’s plea was answered as Vitamix sent over three empty boxes. “Other cardboard boxes seem to lack the appeal of the Vitamix box, and since, much like your wonderful blenders, this stand-off seems to be Built To Last, we’re afraid that this may be our only way out of the situation in which we find ourselves.”Īnd on Jan. Is there-I cannot believe I am honestly asking this-any possibility at all that y’all would be willing to send us three (the number is very important, as there are three cats and we need there to be one extra so we can hopefully get the actual blender out of the box) empty Vitamix boxes?” Jessica asked. “No, we’re writing with a stranger but far less expensive request. (Content warning: Post may include profanity.)īut while a new Vitamix may solve Jessica and Nikii’s problems, that’s not what the couple want. One of the most recent posts involves a video showing a “shift change,” where the trio of cats ensure that the Vitamix box is never left unattended. She first posted the saga to a Facebook group and after more than a million people showed interest, faithfully documented the sage on the cats’ own social media page. “With three cats and only two humans in the household, the humans are outnumbered and (being giant suckers), both frightened of and unwilling to forcibly relocate the offending cats,” Jessica stated. Since then, Jessica said, the Vitamix box has been “occupied” by at least one and sometimes two cats at a time. Mere seconds after setting down the Vitamix box, in the moments before we would’ve opened it and happily put our exciting new blender to use, Max (also known as the sentient soccer ball) spotted the box and, assuming it was for him, hopped right up on top,” Jessica wrote. “We are the devoted servants of a trio of cats who go by the names of Max George, Destroyer of Worlds and Lando Calrissian. But while it arrived safely, things took a turn for the worse shortly after in what Jessica describes as their first mistake. On Black Friday, the couple found a great deal and ordered the device. Jessica and her wife, Nikii, had long coveted the Vitamix to help the former get enough fibre and because the latter just loved smoothies. In a post to the company’s Facebook page, Jessica Gerson-Neeves laid out the issue. couple, it also functions as a cat attractant. The Vitamix, at a cost of around $400, undoubtedly does all three. Does it chop up ice? Spinach? Frozen bananas? "Everything is so overwhelming and so painful right now that people are desperately in need of things they can just laugh at.When you select a blender, you’re probably worried about how well, it, well, blends. "It is silly and ridiculous and very low stakes and not an actual problem and just something that people can laugh at," she adds. Those include people experiencing seasonal depression, exhausted health care workers and even one woman "who said that her husband had been profoundly depressed for a long time and this was the first time she'd seen him smile in months," Gerson-Neeves recalls. Gerson-Neeves says she has been particularly moved by the comments that their growing audience leaves on Facebook, both the hilarious and the heartfelt. While no video evidence was caught of the unfortunate incident, his occupation of the annexed territory was immediately preceded by possibly the single least graceful dismount in the history of felinehood (felinity? Whatever), which somehow involved the sentient soccer ball first smacking headfirst into a wall immediately prior to pulling a fly-you-fools, briefly hanging off of the side of the Vitamix box." "At the cusp of the third-yes, THIRD-week of Appliancegate, we return to the saga to find that the Questionably Sentient Dust Bunny has settled in for the night shift atop the Vitamix.
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